English, The One without A Dictionary

Fiona, my best friend in London, challenged me to post an entry without the assistance of a dictionary or thesaurus. Instead of accepting the challenge with an open arm, I went on instantaneously wondering her discovery. Was it the bombastic words heavily deployed in my recent updates that revealed a rather forceful English composition? Or has she secretly installed a pin-size camera in my room perversely obtaining pleasure through spying on my every activity? Well, at least I am flattered if it was the latter.

Her comment, however, weighed more heavily than a silly spying  joke. It reignited a particular concern I have had recently – the lack of proficiency in written English, which unfortunately has cost me an employment offer I have longed for. And as the comment came amid my concerted effort to improve on my writing via frequent practices, it sparked my worry that perhaps I have gone overboard and become trying too hard.

Nevertheless, I accepted the challenge eventually. As I began thinking of my options, my first thought, a skilful trick to bypass the challenge with an one-sentence-entry which probably says “Fiona, this is my update without the use of a dictionary,” entered my mind with an evil grin. Even when I think the entry is unquestionably eligible for the challenge, it wouldn’t do me a glorious favour. And so it was aborted.

My second option, based on Fiona’s profound interest to unveil my not so secret talent to (frequent) random hook-ups, was to reveal the raunchy conversations I have had with my rapidly changing sexual partners. While I started recollecting the images of these people through a lighting speed image flashing, the thought of me being stabbed to death by not one, but the many former brief encounters, after a potential detrimental public humiliation to their openness in sex-hunt via the revelation of supposedly discreet conversations, cooled my sharing excitement.

Moving on, I pondered if it would be more appropriate in this particular circumstance, where English language itself is the focus point, to adopt a more formal channel by sharing my limited experience in English literature. I can and will of course draw your attention towards the only short story I have remembered from my high school English literature classes – The lotus eater. I believe when the discussion developed, I would probably dwelled into the simple but effective style of writing and bla bla bla, which will undoubtedly encourage you to close this window at the soonest with just a click on the finger. 

After careful consideration to keep this post slightly amusing, I, still revolving around the English language, was inspired to discuss the inability of most Malaysians to pronounce the last alphabet of English words, which of course has inevitably landed me in many humiliating occasions. And I will most likely share with you one of the most classic examples of my personal experience – a grocery shopping in a Norwegian supermarket with my European and other Asian friends when I have had to spend half a day explaining my desire to purchase half a dozen of egg. The obstacle I faced in pronouncing the ‘g’ in the simplest English word has literally made me spelt the word out before my bewildered friends were finally enlightened with hysterical laughter.

Just when I thought that this indeed could be a potential blog entry for this English challenge, I realised the thought process itself has utilised the words limit I normally allocate for an entry. Despite my keen desire to continue, I conclude my current entry prematurely with massive regret by saying: Voila Fiona!